Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

ANOTHER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This post is a month late.

Last month, I celebrated my birthday. Although I kept silent when it came, it's the most significant of all my birthdays. My brother sent me a text message on my birthday. He wrote: "May this day remind you how much God loves you for allowing you to celebrate another birthday"... Indeed. I've never been this grateful. When I met an accident, I was given a second lease on life. And celebrating another birthday, I consider a milestone.

I re-read the post that I wrote for my b-day last year. Nothing much has changed since then. Still struggling with vanity. Still keeping a tight grip of the remaining youth that is left of me. But there's one noteworthy thing that has happened. I now welcome the gift of old age. When the signs of aging start to manifest in me physically, I wouldn't mind anymore. Because then, that means I'm still alive. Having faced before death has made me value the winter of time.

So, wrinkles and gray hair, bring them on! But still, I hope, not too soon (grin!). But when they come a little sooner, again I say, I really don't mind anymore. Because by then I'll make sure I have the inside beauty flourished over time. And that's what only matters.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

CAME THE SMASH

(cont...)
We were smashed right onto the creek. I was in panic of drowning but we were submerged only a little half-way (One more reason to be thankful for. I could have been half-way dead by then) . Blood was everywhere. There was this woman beside me all blooded on her face. Really a scary sight. Apparently, I did not feel any pain and I was not wounded. But as I tried to get up, my left arm did not move. I held it close to me making sure that I still have it. It's clinging in my body, still very much a part of me. Except that it cannot feel anything.

Rescue came. One guy reached out to me and grabbed my arms. Suddenly, a sharp pain in my left arm. Sharp, excruciating pain!

My left arm was fractured. I was operated for an implant. Right now I'm still recuperating from the operation. I will be starting my therapy today. And hopefully soon enough I can do without my arm sling already.

before the operation



after the operation

Yeah, I'm typing with my right hand.

p.s.
Nobody died from the accident. Maybe some of them are okay now. Some are still recuperating like me. But what's important, we're all alive and enjoying our second life. Thank you Lord and cheers to life!

Monday, June 8, 2009

ONE FATEFUL DAY

A was riding a jeepney one fateful day.

The driver readied to go as the red light turned to green. As we were about to cross the highway, a ten-wheeler truck from the other side of the road was accelerating and really fast, bumped and dragged us for I don't know how long. Everything went so fast, but the anticipation of where and how we would smash was a long wait. My mind was running just as fast. Thinking for survival .. for life, death, and my family. But first thing I did was to save my soul. I asked God to forgive all my sins and asked to take me with Him if I have to die that very moment.

It seemed silent. No one screaming. Just groaning and moaning from the hurting passengers. And from my voice saying "Jesus save us" over and over again.

(TO BE CONTINUED)...

sorry, can't continue now. can't bear the bad memories.. the fears and pain (or is it sadness?) that i was not even aware it's there, still... until i wrote it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

TAKE UP YOUR CROSS

photo credit

A mere thought of needle pricking can chicken me out. I cringe at the onset of displeasures. I get tempted to run away from problems. Oh these things we call CROSSES! Disputes, sickness, poverty, traffic jam, bad weather. And if I could choose, I'd rather take up the lightest of the crosses. Or none at all. But more often than not, we don't choose on what crosses we want to carry. They're just thrown at us. Nonetheless, we can decide on how to handle them. And that's what makes the difference.

If I have to be asked about the cross I'm carrying right now, it's this autocratic, power maniac I know. She is my cross (and everybody else's)! I'd rather not go down the list of my grievances. Talking about them would only reap negative feelings but doesn't solve anything. I can just describe how I see her in my own eyes. In my eyes, she is oftentimes a beastly thing with its long curvy pair of horns, sharp, pearly white fangs and a tail. In some occassional instances, she reaches out my distance. Those times, she appears to be a cuddly, harmless puppy with its fluffy ears and wagging tail. But, "oh don't be deceived!", I warn myself...seriously.

It's easy to hate her because she is hateful. But I try to go beyond what I can see. Her inferiority complex hiding behind the arrogance. Her trying to use people to fill up her low self esteem. Beyond what I can see is a pitiful sight of inner struggle and brokenness. Sometimes I try compassion instead of hatred. Well, easier said than done. But I don't stop trying.

To love the loveable is effortless. To love the unloveable is virtue..

Am I being a cross for another person? Am I making life difficult for somebody else? Heck, I'm no saint and I can be bitchy sometimes. So once in awhile I do some double checking. I could be the villain of another person's life story and I might never know. That's scary..

Monday, January 12, 2009

The year that was.


In 2008, life moved me in different directions and sometimes reckless. At times I was made to ran fast. So fast while everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. At times I was spun around and left dazed. Shoved away from my comfort zone and thrown in a battlefield. It was not an easy battle but thank God it's over now. I was somewhat disoriented, but hey, still alive. Every warrior, good or bad (I was a good one, if I may say), won't leave the battlefield without bruises or scars. I have licked some wounds and I am healing now. I am glad the battle was over before the year ended. Won some and lost some, but definitely still a winner. 2008 was a rough year for me but still full of blessings.

I don't welcome 2009 with a big bang (Oh I've had enough from last year!). Instead, I embrace this new year with much serenity. My spiritual journey continues this 2009.

On with my pilgrimage...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

AN OLD MAN REMINDED ME

I was alone in the room while the rest of my officemates were upstairs for a program. A retired BIG BOSS came to pick up his monthly pension. I was taken aback. Trying to figure out what seemed to be wrong with the picture before me. I looked intently at his now very old, worn out face and his unproperly buttoned suit. Oh, he was a heart-rending sight! I can hardly grasp any of his words but I understood that he had a stroke few months ago.... "But sir, the vouchers are not yet processed. But it will surely be done this week." I saw the frustration written all over his face. "But, it is usually out this time of the month", he insisted. "Sir" I tried to explain "there was a little delay in the release of funds. But I assure you it will be released not later than friday". He looked at me, as if waiting for me to announce that everything was a joke. I was trying to find words to suffice his confusion. Words to ease his desperation. But he just stood there as if waiting for my punchline. Hay..If it was a joke, it surely wasn't funny. He was staring at me straight with his tired and weary eyes. And he turned his back. Walked slowly and sadly away from me. Oh my..I guess the old man badly needed his money. For his medication. Therapy, maybe. I don't know..He was tearing me apart.

Life, it is ...

He used to have a bubbly spirit. Such a brilliant mind. A big boss in control of the world. But look at him now, almost losing everything. His youth, health, wealth. His power. And soon, maybe even his brilliant mind. He had everything that the world can offer. And looking at him, he manifests the truth that everything in life indeed is fleeting. And though these lines are commonplace, everything in this world boils down to this reailty. I feel sorry for the old man, but I surely thank him for reminding me how I should live my own life. That I shouldn't be so attached with the world. That at the end of it all, I will be losing everything. And what will be left of me is my soul and how well I was able to nourish it. And at the dusk of my life, I will have nothing but my soul faced before my God.

photo credit: lefion
o LOREN

Monday, September 1, 2008

DESIDERATA

Finally, I have once again heard DESIDERATA played on the radio ( at RJFM) . And, man, how it made me fall into utter silence! I was amidst the city noise and chaos (I was in a public vehicle) but I was as if sitting there alone, shielded of serenity. I can hear the hustle and bustle but it remained behind the background leaving me completely untouched. The people around me were in the middle of the city street, and I was in the middle of euphoria listening to a godly created poem. I usually hear it on the radio when I was a kid. Desiderata, recited by a man with a god-like voice. But I never understood it, then. When I reached highschool, that's when it became my favorite that I have absorbed the teeny weeniest bit of its message. But it was somehow forgotten. I may have put it aside when I was accumulating some non-essentials in my life. Now, I have rediscovered Desiderata and I won't ever let it go once more. DESIDERATA (desideratum) which means something desired as necessary. No one knew who wrote it. Others have said that it was authored by a poet Max Ehrmann. But he (Max Ehrmann) said in his book that this document was discovered on a plaque installed at St. Paul's Church in Baltimore and was lost, but again rediscovered. But I say, it came from an unknown force which is God and have used somebody ( maybe Max Ehrmann) as a receptacle so it can reach each and every one of us. A single masterpiece, yet all encompassing. As one writer said, it contains infinity. A dewdrop that contains all the ocean.

DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

Friday, August 29, 2008

COCOONED

Credit Image: bluedrakon



When the outside has been giving you more than you can take. When you're pushed and pulled in all directions. When scenes are moving too hastily. And when everything else seems to fail... You always have yourself to go back to. Shut out everything and cocooned in your own protection. For while the outside of you sometimes is not in your full grasp, only in the inside can you be in control.. Until you are ready to face the world again. But until then, you stay in the comfort of your own cocoon. It can be surprisingly too comforting that you wish to stay there for a much longer time... And who knows 'til when..