Cute Blogger Award

I got tagged by Tani (Thanks Tani! And sorry, it took me so long!)
As recipient of this award,
1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.


So, here are my ten weird, random, little known facts or habits about myself.

1. In relationships, it's inevitable that people fail me or I fail them, and wish we could shut each other out. But either way, I don't burn bridges. In most cases, I just don't cross the bridge. (this can be another topic for another blog time)

2. I am musophobic.
I have this fear in mice/rats. They get me extremely hysterical, they could kill me! In fact they almost did when I was still in my mother's womb. A rat startled mommy that caused her to bleed quite profusely. The doctor gave my precious life an ultimatum. If wednesday comes that the bleeding still doesn't stop, she has to scrape me out. Tuesday, the bleeding stopped... So yeah, my life is meant to be.

3. My first aspiration was to become a nun.

One day, mommy had a chit chat with the mother superior (in our school). And for whatever reason, she sorta bragged that "oh, my daughter wishes to become a nun. She must be a saint in the making!". Then the mother superior went up to me, encouraged me a little more to pursue this dream. And in front of my adviser, she attested that she's been seeing me frequenting the chapel. She LIED! I barely go to the chapel. Well, that made me change my mind. Not only lawyers are liars. Nuns, too.

4. Speaking of lawyer.. If there's any regret or "if only" in my life, maybe that is, not following my dream to become a lawyer.

5. My first love will always be dancing. And I can say that "first love never dies".

6. I love Rainy days. If you happen to have watched the movie "One Fine Day", the weather in that movie can best describe my perfect day. Windy and drizzling all day.

7. I love Fall.

I live in a tropical place wherein rainy or sunny can only be the choice, and I've never experienced fall (or winter, or spring) in my life. But I love fall! The color of the leaves. Orange, yellow, magenta, purple! Fall affects me in a happy kind of way. Kahit sa picture lang..

8. The saying that "silent water runs deep" isn't true in my case.

You can call me a hyperactive teen-ager/kid (note: I am far from that picture now. I've grown to be so demure .. heheh). I was always in the list of noisy girls in class. I laugh and talk a lot. I run around seemingly restless. And you can hate or love me for this. To those who only know me skin-deep, I may appear shallow-headed. But I am a surprise because I am more than that to those people who really know me inside out. At my young age, my human understanding is already broad. Friends come up to me for advice or simply talk about life (almost dissecting life)... I had a friend/roommate who's twelve years older than me. She said she finds me very mature. I think maturely (daw) than other kids my age... So, in my case, noisy water can run deep, too.

9. I fear to be old, wrinkled, and ugly. I am trying to learn to come in terms with this reality.

10. Motherhood did not come so easy for me. After I gave birth to my first born, I suffered from depression for a long time. Was it the hormones? Or did I find it hard to say goodbye to my youth and freedom? (another topic for another blog time).

For the eleventh...

I break rules. So, instead of ten, I'm tagging everybody. Please feel free to add this to your blog.

TAKE UP YOUR CROSS

photo credit

A mere thought of needle pricking can chicken me out. I cringe at the onset of displeasures. I get tempted to run away from problems. Oh these things we call CROSSES! Disputes, sickness, poverty, traffic jam, bad weather. And if I could choose, I'd rather take up the lightest of the crosses. Or none at all. But more often than not, we don't choose on what crosses we want to carry. They're just thrown at us. Nonetheless, we can decide on how to handle them. And that's what makes the difference.

If I have to be asked about the cross I'm carrying right now, it's this autocratic, power maniac I know. She is my cross (and everybody else's)! I'd rather not go down the list of my grievances. Talking about them would only reap negative feelings but doesn't solve anything. I can just describe how I see her in my own eyes. In my eyes, she is oftentimes a beastly thing with its long curvy pair of horns, sharp, pearly white fangs and a tail. In some occassional instances, she reaches out my distance. Those times, she appears to be a cuddly, harmless puppy with its fluffy ears and wagging tail. But, "oh don't be deceived!", I warn myself...seriously.

It's easy to hate her because she is hateful. But I try to go beyond what I can see. Her inferiority complex hiding behind the arrogance. Her trying to use people to fill up her low self esteem. Beyond what I can see is a pitiful sight of inner struggle and brokenness. Sometimes I try compassion instead of hatred. Well, easier said than done. But I don't stop trying.

To love the loveable is effortless. To love the unloveable is virtue..

Am I being a cross for another person? Am I making life difficult for somebody else? Heck, I'm no saint and I can be bitchy sometimes. So once in awhile I do some double checking. I could be the villain of another person's life story and I might never know. That's scary..