Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I'm caught in the middle of holiday rush!! So, I'm leaving you with some pics to keep you company for awhile. These are pics from our office christmas party where we got to wear cowboy/cowgirl attire. Hope the pics would suffice to tell the stories behind.


Friday, December 19, 2008


photo credit


Christmas is the time when my present intertwines with my past. In this time, I get visited by the memories of my christmas from yesteryears. Everything around. The lights, the ornaments, the carols. And yes, the cold breeze. Each of them have stories to tell about my christmases gone by.

I was with my barkada looking up for some christmas CDs. I was talking giddily with the usual exclamation points in it. And I thought she was sharing my excitement. Then I asked her, aren't you buying one of those? No, she replied. But WHY??. "I don't like christmas. It makes me sad". I gave her a frown and rolled my eyes in disbelief! (Grinch, is that you?).

I know what she meant. There's a certain sadness about christmas... I guess it's the remembering that is sad.

But I love remembering my christmas past. When life was pure and happiness was always at hand, and when christmas seemed more christmasy. Then I remember the people. Some of them have left.. or just gone for some reasons not told. I smile. Most of them I already miss. Where could they be now? Will I ever see them again? And if I can jump right off my christmas past to experience them once more, then I will. But I can't. Then I can feel a sharp pain. A little pinch piercing through..

It's the remembering that is sad. But I don't mind if this is the only way that I can revisit these memories. I don't mind at all. And I guess it's the fragments from my christmas past that makes my present christmas more meaningful and ever so lovely and (bitter) sweet.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


It's a gloomy (late) afternoon. A gloomy weather indeed, but not for me. It cools me down but never brings me down!.. I can see calm rain shower from my glass window. So calm, I can hardly hear the pitter-patter on the roof top..Crisp breeze is flowing in. I sip my cup of coffee to keep me warm from the cold. Oh, how can it feel so lovely?..

Pasko na naman...I can smell it everywhere.. Christmas song is playing. The flickering lights on the christmas tree brighten up the dimming room. Blue, red, yellow, green all dancing by turns. Outshining one another. What could be nicer than this? This "happy gloom". The christmas songs. Flickering lights. They set my mood to plunge into my own pool of christmas thoughts. Oh yes. I'm oh-so sentimental about this season. That's what I am. Well, no one's complaining about it from my family members. Not just yet, maybe (Grin!). I guess when I'm gone, christmas time would keep reminding them about me (Oh that christmas fool!).

Alone with this beauty, it kept me thinking. And thinking.. What is christmas for me? Strange for a self-proclaimed christmas lover to not being able to give out an answer that is completely hers. I guess there's no description that encompasses the bliss of this season. It's ineffable. Maybe, great emotions really are beyond the bounds of words. They only stay in the heart.There's one answer, though, that can come close to what christmas really is for me...


(to be continued...)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Carla and her red-eared turtle!

This is "Darling", the fascinating, teeny weeny turtle. We met this turtle with its equally fascinating owner, Carla, while we were strolling around Greenbelt Chapel. Denise (my daughter) and Gemma (our kasambahay) was so thrilled to see "Darling". We all were!..

I forgot to ask Carla whether this cutie-pie was a he or a she. "Darling" was not even a name but an endearment. Well, that's how it was explained to me by Carla. So, Darling was a red-eared slider turtle with no name and gender!

In this photo, I was prodding Darling to walk towards Gemma's hand. "Tingnan mo, kinakausap ka nya!", Carla said. It was staring back at me and blinked its eyes. It communicates through its eyes. Blinking it once means YES, and twice means NO (or vice versa, I think). Carla was one proud owner of Darling. "Intelligent siya at napakabait". Of course it's mabait! What could a tiny turtle do to harm us? hehe.. I may sound sarcastic, yeah, but it's more of a joke. I actually loved them both. Together, they emanate good feelings!

"DARLING" on the safe hands of Carla


Carla was such a sweet, cute and all-smile lady. I guess, like Darling, she fascinated me too in a different, happy kind of way. Her being a turtle lover (she has 2 turtles and let them sleep on her bed at night) and her being such a regular church-goer fascinated me. She goes to Greenbelt Chapel almost everyday (and of course to stroll Darling around).

Then, she offered to give me The Face but unfortunately she didn't have one that time. It's the bleeding face of Christ, she explained. "Marami na akong nabigyan nyan". And most of them went back to her and claim some miracles happened in their lives after receiving The Face .. I was skeptical.

But you know what the miracle is? It's meeting her (and Darling) that day and making us play with her pet and making me feel like a giddy child once again. And it's her genuine, sweet smile plastered on her face all of the time that stirred me to smile back at a stranger like her. Those were simple miracles. I don't know, Carla must have sprayed some happy potion in the air. I was happy for some reason. Maybe she was contagious...

Then I went inside the chapel and said a little prayer for sweet Carla and her teeny-weeny turtle.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


The Tree of Life

While I'm brooding in my own corner, things about LIFE is stirring up my mind..

I've reached this age when I must think I have seen enough. Won some. Lost some. Done this. Done that. Befriended life and many times messed up with it. I've seen enough and there must be no way that life can knock me off my feet just as it did with me when I haven't known enough. I must have mastered my own life now even with my eyes closed.

But one cannot master life in a lifetime. Just when we start to believe that we are now in control, life would throw something on our lap that would scare us and make us lose our balance. And just how it used to be, we are caught by surprise. Clueless of what life has to bring.

One cannot fully master life for life won't run out of things to teach us. Our age may be adding up but life will always treat us like a child who needs to learn, relearn and unlearn.. Trust Life. That no matter how many times it knocks us off our feet, it has ALWAYS (and always) its way of taking care of itself. Trust Life that no matter how it gets messed up, it has its way of putting things into place. And as long as we won't forget that God is in the details, we'll be fine.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

When UNDAS meant a different thing

All Souls day is my favorite time of the year ( next to christmas and new year), and it's a shame that I let it passed without writing anything about it.

When did I start loving it? Well, since my parents would prepare a banquet for our dearly departed while saying a prayer for their good souls. While we (siblings) would try to peek at the dining table and try to convince ourselves that somebody's eating the foods (!!!). Souls must not be eating too much. They hardly touch the foods. But take a closer look. There's a little bite over there. See it?? With our eyes so wide open!.. But of course our eyes knew otherwise. We're just trying to scare ourselves.

But I began to love All Souls day in a different kind of way during my teen age years. It became more than just a day for the souls, but also a "reunion" for our barkada.

Our friends studying in Manila goes home for the sem break and that makes us almost complete before Nov 1 comes. Well, we're a big group, we barely get completed (we're more than 20 in our group).. Sa sementeryo ang aming tipanan! Before bar hopping became an IN thing, sementeryo hopping was already a "fashion" that we do every undas. It's a festive ambiance in cemeteries. Ideal to loiter around searching for some NPA (Nice People Around)! -- mga crush ng bayan and campus heart throbs, the ex-bfs and ex-flings, and some good old friends (from highschool) that we kinda lost along the way. It's an all-night party! Everybody is invited, dead or alive! To top it all, I have my friends with me, and that's what makes undas oh so special !

Before the night ends, real bonding time is just beginning especially for the girls. We go to a friend's house, and there we sleepover. Share stories and strengthen our friendship a little bit more. We talk and REALLY talk until the wee hours, and up to the last drop of our energy! Nocturnal that we were!

Our friends are scattered all over now. In the US, in Naga, and I'm the only one that stays in Manila. There are some attempts that we go home one All Souls Day for another grand "reunion". But with our respective priorities in life now, I don't know if it's still possible for us to be all together again. I miss them, really. Although we'd always be with each other in spirit through our (yahoo) egroup, I still wish to reunite with them in flesh as well.

Those were the days, and maybe "reunion" in undas would not happen again. For now, it is but a wishful thinking... 'til next undas.

Friday, October 31, 2008


I came across this old post (for easter) from my old blog:
While easter speaks of resurrection, I was coming from the opposite direction. I was whirled up, high and around. Now, I am waiting to come down.. slowly, and hopefully with care. I have journeyed this way for quite long, it has left me dazed. Sometimes disoriented. I don't know what I have become. I have relied on egoism. Casted my energy to competition. Maybe so to survive..
When does a child loses her innocence? The moment she thinks of competition... In this side of my world, things have not moved on to easter.

This was me at the height of the muddle. Now that I have chosen the road to tread, things have turned calm and placid in this side of my world.

On that note, I'm signing off for some few days lang naman. It's halloween time! Fully booked ang scheds for the occassion!

Monday, October 27, 2008

The game called PROMOTION


I wrote these lines a year ago. But just recently, I took part in this game of Promotion. I have been promoted as the Supervising Officer... So, who was elbowed, kneed and bruised? ..

It's so hard to be at a crossroads. I thank my hubby and my mom for standing by me.
(note: some parts omitted by the author)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


This is Andoy..
Few weeks back, he was featured in Rated K, Channel 2 hosted by Korina Sanchez. This is the same Andoy that we met when we visited Callao Cave (Peñablanca, Cagayan) during our road trip to Northern Luzon. He was our "spokening dollar" tour guide, and he really speaks well in english! Okay then, maybe those are just memorized lines taught to him by the Department of Tourism (wherein he got trained to be a tour guide). So we pushed him more to speak english by asking him questions outside the context of his "comfort zone" (the Callao cave). And he successfully answered our queries, and in straight english! We learned some details about his life during our question and answer portion... He stays with his lolo ( I forgot whether he mentioned about his father living with them). He has foster parents from Hawaii who helps out with his studies. They plan to bring him to Hawaii someday. He wants to be a lawyer. And when asked why, "Because I want to prove that not all lawyers are liars!", goes his famous line. "How much have you earned today from your tour guiding?", we went on prying. He earned more than 1000Php for that day. Not bad eh (summer is peak season). And he's going to use that money to buy materials for the upcoming school year... Andoy is driven by his dreams. Such an intelligent boy. I pray that he stays that way.

The thing is, Andoy was more amusing and unforgettable than the Callao Cave.

And here's a glimpse of our road trip to Northern Luzon:

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I was alone in the room while the rest of my officemates were upstairs for a program. A retired BIG BOSS came to pick up his monthly pension. I was taken aback. Trying to figure out what seemed to be wrong with the picture before me. I looked intently at his now very old, worn out face and his unproperly buttoned suit. Oh, he was a heart-rending sight! I can hardly grasp any of his words but I understood that he had a stroke few months ago.... "But sir, the vouchers are not yet processed. But it will surely be done this week." I saw the frustration written all over his face. "But, it is usually out this time of the month", he insisted. "Sir" I tried to explain "there was a little delay in the release of funds. But I assure you it will be released not later than friday". He looked at me, as if waiting for me to announce that everything was a joke. I was trying to find words to suffice his confusion. Words to ease his desperation. But he just stood there as if waiting for my punchline. Hay..If it was a joke, it surely wasn't funny. He was staring at me straight with his tired and weary eyes. And he turned his back. Walked slowly and sadly away from me. Oh my..I guess the old man badly needed his money. For his medication. Therapy, maybe. I don't know..He was tearing me apart.

Life, it is ...

He used to have a bubbly spirit. Such a brilliant mind. A big boss in control of the world. But look at him now, almost losing everything. His youth, health, wealth. His power. And soon, maybe even his brilliant mind. He had everything that the world can offer. And looking at him, he manifests the truth that everything in life indeed is fleeting. And though these lines are commonplace, everything in this world boils down to this reailty. I feel sorry for the old man, but I surely thank him for reminding me how I should live my own life. That I shouldn't be so attached with the world. That at the end of it all, I will be losing everything. And what will be left of me is my soul and how well I was able to nourish it. And at the dusk of my life, I will have nothing but my soul faced before my God.

photo credit: lefion

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!

My kids helped me out in decorating this tree. They were having such a great time especially my five-year old boy (Nick). Hubby was a mere spectator. He may be as excited but it didn't show. Well, hubby knew from the start how I'm crazy about christmas. Though he may not understand why my passion about this season can sometimes be a little overstated (listening to christmas songs almost all year round), but he tolerates me and kinda love me that way. When I'm gone (for whatever reason), he'll gonna miss me in christmas. And he agrees.

Here's my niece appreciating my christmas tree. Oh, it isn't as perfect as my dream christmas tree, but I'll gonna start to change things up a bit from year to year. I usually just pile on all the ornaments. Maybe next christmas, I'll start to choose a color palette. Or maybe I'll start this year.

Friday, October 3, 2008

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW..(coffee matters) -1

Too much coffee can trigger headache. However, coffee can help relieve the symptoms if you drink it in the very early stage of headache. Caffeine constrict blood vessels. It helps counter the painful effect when blood vessels dilate in the head.
When added to pain medication (ibuprofen), it can help improve their absorption and increases their pain killing effect..I suffer from migraine quite often especially during my monthly period (menstrual migraine) and I have tried it several times already. Oftentimes, it has saved my day from my excruciating, agonizing headache! Try it yourself.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


The story of this girl from my last post (re: the accidental lawyer. I choose not to disclose her identity) has struck me real hard. I guess because I am a parent, myself. It made me look in. How am I doing as a parent? How am I "imposing" it (my parenting) to my kids?

Before I became a mother, I had this ideal child in mind. I have envisioned the way I'm going to raise her (her.. yes, I have envisioned a daughter). Set up the rules and regulations that she's going to conform to. She's a human being given under my custody. I have to mold her right! What she will become will be a reflection of how good or bad parent I am. So, I was a little hard on my first born, my daughter. She was a victim of my standard of "perfection". That's why, I guess at one point, I might have not handled this little, fragile creature so very well. I'm afraid I might have caused some little bruises with her self-esteem everytime I push her to always do good especially with her studies (she's a consistent honor student). I plead guilty. So with my second born, I was more lenient.

Parents tend to mold their children according to their image and likeness. I hope we get to be reminded.. we are not gods.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable

(my precious kids, Denise and Nick)


She stays out after dusk and goes home before dawn. Sunshine might be an unfamiliar glare for her. For the only shine that constantly gleams her sight are those from the street glows or the array of neon colors from bar lights. She goes partying every night with her friends. A flock with the same feathers like hers.

Energy gushes in and out of her soul. A fun-lover! A carefree spirit!.. Stifle her, or she'll wither.

She comes from a family which could have believed that they are dynasty of "Abogado de Campanillas". So her parents thought that she must be raised to be one. Going to Law school was imposed on her.

Being a lawyer may be in her blood, yet it was not implanted in her heart. She scorns the very thought of it. But wanting to please her parents, she went to Law School .. not knowing that it will start to gnaw her life.

She studied in the top Law School of the land. These four years in law school devastated her. She was compelled to do something she hates. No more partying. No more fun. "I don't belong in this place", she thought. Like a tropical species uprooted and forced to survive in North Pole.

Wanting to please her parents, she went on and finished Law. At last, all her agony is paying off... But then, she failed the Bar exam.

She fell into deep depression. She cannot disappoint her parents this way. So, all her remaining ardor, she tried the bar exam the second time.This time she passed. But just to realize that her real agony is just starting.

How can she handle her first case? What if she loses? She cannot displease her mom and dad that way! She realized, from that day onward, her life should be spent in winning cases. And she realized, from that day onward, she will be leading a life she detests. A life to please. A life in possession by other people..Then she decided to just end it all and took her own life. A life that is not already hers, anyway.

She was stifled. And she withered.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Peñafrancia Fiesta

Bicolanos have this undying devotion to the Nuestra Señora de Peñafrancia, our "Ina". Millions of devotees come to Naga to celebrate the fiesta. Bukas bisperas na! And by this time, I'm sure the merry making is now at its peak. I was supposed to go home for fiesta, but I have to re-sched my 'homecoming' for another time (maybe this christmas). It's been a long while now. I miss going home for fiesta.. Or could it be, I simply miss HOME right now? I don't know. I guess I'm having the symptoms of "melancholy" these days. And this fiesta celebration is rubbing it in.

More about Peñafrancia festival here .

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


IMs popped up all at the same time as my sister opened her Yahoo Messenger. They all came from her friends back home... "DORIS IS GONE".. Basically what the messages conveyed. She must know someone with that name. Tried hard enough to remember for some Doris(es) in her life. Even tried some denial (our mind's coping mechanism to expel the unacceptable) but availed her nothing. She doesn't know any Doris... except her bestfriend.

How can Doris leave in such a cruel manner?

Three months ago before she left for Canada, they had a little misunderstanding. My sister left the country without saying goodbye to her. No chat sessions followed (which they usually enjoy doing when they're apart), and deliberately did not greet Doris on her birthday. But Doris is now gone forever. They will never have the chance to talk anymore. Maybe patch up their misunderstanding which is so puny, it's undeserving to let it harm their friendship.. She will terribly miss the outpour of her happy disposition. Her giggles. Her endless story-telling.. All about her! Doris' death is completely hard to comprehend.. My sister broke down. Cried for hours. And for days.


- Don't ever let any misunderstanding get in the way to any good relationships

-Life is too short. Don't take your loved ones for granted. You'll never know how many or little is left in our lifetime.

I can't imagine the same story happening to me. One of my barkadas, dead. That's totally out of the picture! Purely insane! Yet.. very much a reality. I so love these people. The people who have grown up with me. From my pretentious teen-age life until becoming comfortable in my own skin. From taking baby steps (after graduation) so we can find our place in the real world(corporate world/adult world). Until having to teach our own kids with their baby steps too so they can learn to walk in life on their own (family life/parenthood)... I have journeyed with them. And I just can't imagine one of them gone in my life forever.

( my friends, below) diamonds I have stumbled upon...


Have you ever felt the LOVE so Divine when it overflows your whole being? Seldom that it comes. But when it does, it travels through your heart at its very core. It weakens you but so beautifully! And it's hard to contain, it has to spring forth. It breaks away, forming some little droplets called tears.....Sometimes that's how I feel when I'm in the presence of the Divine Love. He embraces me. He makes me taste even just a very little bit of heaven here on earth. It's a wonderful feeling. It's amazing beyond compare.
Photo credit: electricboo

Thursday, September 4, 2008


The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.—J.M. Barrie, THE LITTLE MINISTER (1891)

I vow to keep track of my life by keeping a diary (yes, this blog). Go back to some significant part of the past, dwell in my present, and look forward to the future if I possibly can. But words are blocked lately. This is the time when the well runs dry. Groping, juggling, quenching for words but nothing can seem to depict my thoughts.. Damn frustration!

Keeping a journal is keeping trail of my Self.. In each words I write down, it’s looking at myself in another person’s eyes . This time, objectively and free from partiality. I can see with much clarity my joy, pain, mistake or a job well done. Outside of myself looking in, I can have a better view if there is a need for a bigger or smaller room in my life. A renovation or maybe an overhauling. Outside looking in, I can have an honest to goodness account of my values or habits and account of the people I have allowed to enter within the premises of my life. If there’s too many people and too much to handle, and if there’s a need to pull out the bad weeds to save the good ones ( Or if I need few, tolerable bad weeds so I can eventually grow and learn from them. In real life, few bad weeds are not bad enough. They give us strength of character. Or compassion. Or simply understanding human nature )… This way, I can understand myself a little each day. And in each day of understanding is an inch by inch closer to my real Self.In this day and age, life can just pass us by so quickly. In a flick, we can lose track of ourselves. What a waste of time. So I slow down and write down my life or simply my thoughts. This is one of the moments that I know I'm living and not just merely existing.For these reasons, I’m keeping a journal. And hey, life is too short. I don’t want to miss a thing.
Photo credit: josh

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


"Coffee Alamid is Philippine Civet Coffee from wild civet droppings on the different forest floors of Philippine mountains. The Paradoxorus Philippinensis is a civet which belongs to the mongoose family - a nocturnal animal which uses its nose to choose the ripest and sweetest coffee cherries and relentlessly eats them during coffee season. Gathered very early in the morning usually before the sun rises, the forest dwellers climb the mountain and pick the civet droppings on the forest floors. On a good day, a gatherer can collect one kilo of civet droppings .
Coffee Alamid is a blend of the Philippine's finest Arabica, Liberica and Exelsa beans. When roasted, it exudes an almost musical, fruity aroma. It has a strong, sweet , dark chocolatey taste that is perfect for that morning kick or high power meetings. Definitely a clean cup."
SOURCE: arengga.com
CREDIT IMAGE : andy_atsaka

Coffee Alamid (civet coffee), the most expensive coffee in the world selling between $120-$600 per pound. It must taste like heaven so as to cost us this much. But knowing that these are coffee berries came from cat poop, would you try to have a sip? eeeeewww...

Monday, September 1, 2008


Finally, I have once again heard DESIDERATA played on the radio ( at RJFM) . And, man, how it made me fall into utter silence! I was amidst the city noise and chaos (I was in a public vehicle) but I was as if sitting there alone, shielded of serenity. I can hear the hustle and bustle but it remained behind the background leaving me completely untouched. The people around me were in the middle of the city street, and I was in the middle of euphoria listening to a godly created poem. I usually hear it on the radio when I was a kid. Desiderata, recited by a man with a god-like voice. But I never understood it, then. When I reached highschool, that's when it became my favorite that I have absorbed the teeny weeniest bit of its message. But it was somehow forgotten. I may have put it aside when I was accumulating some non-essentials in my life. Now, I have rediscovered Desiderata and I won't ever let it go once more. DESIDERATA (desideratum) which means something desired as necessary. No one knew who wrote it. Others have said that it was authored by a poet Max Ehrmann. But he (Max Ehrmann) said in his book that this document was discovered on a plaque installed at St. Paul's Church in Baltimore and was lost, but again rediscovered. But I say, it came from an unknown force which is God and have used somebody ( maybe Max Ehrmann) as a receptacle so it can reach each and every one of us. A single masterpiece, yet all encompassing. As one writer said, it contains infinity. A dewdrop that contains all the ocean.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952

Friday, August 29, 2008


Credit Image: bluedrakon

When the outside has been giving you more than you can take. When you're pushed and pulled in all directions. When scenes are moving too hastily. And when everything else seems to fail... You always have yourself to go back to. Shut out everything and cocooned in your own protection. For while the outside of you sometimes is not in your full grasp, only in the inside can you be in control.. Until you are ready to face the world again. But until then, you stay in the comfort of your own cocoon. It can be surprisingly too comforting that you wish to stay there for a much longer time... And who knows 'til when..

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Too many candles to blow!

My birth month is ending and I hardly noticed. B-day greetings, a one- day feast at home, a KFC treat for my officemates, and nothing made a difference. After all, what is there to celebrate for getting another year older?? All I know is the panicky feeling in keeping a tight grip of any remaining youth that is left of me. And sooner than later, I'd be wrinkled.. and ugly.. and all other things that my vanity can barely accept!

Though one day I'd be wrinkled and undesirable for the world to see, but one day it wouldn't matter. Because the essence of living is to be desirable in the eyes of God. And, THAT, I have to convince myself! (hehe)..

For this month of my birth, let me answer the same question we were asked during our batch reunion... WHAT AM I AND WHAT HAVE I BECOME?

Well, aside from my occasional problems in vanity, I have gone this far in life happy and at peace.

More than three decades gone by, I certainly have gone wiser. But it's not wise to think that I'm all that wiser. There will always be mistakes committed along the way, but that's okay. A mistake committed is an opportunity to reap for another wisdom.In every digit added up to my age, I have gone wiser ENOUGH to discover that to "decrease yourself" is the key to real happiness. Taking ourselves highly and prized, massage our egos so constantly, and always feeling the need to "fight for our rights". Oh they sure are perfect ways to hurts and lack of inner peace... Fighting for my rights. I have this inner struggle. Can't tolerate "injustice" and the hell, I will stick to my gun! PRIDE corrupts me. But slowly, I'm perfecting how it is not to sweat the small stuff...

I have learned to "Increase God" and take the limelight away from myself. I am born for God, not for myself. So let it be. From time to time, in my enlightened moments, I have seen the truth in this. In this aspect, I still have so much to explore.

I now understand what my mom told us that hearts don't grow old. I was too young to comprehend, then. I just thought it was an amazing thing to hear. Now, I'm getting more gray hair popping out my crowning glory. I have fine lines that, thank God, I can still manage to minimize. But my heart still feels so young. With all its scars and brokenness, it still feels brand new. Amazing indeed!

It's comforting enough to know that I'm heading on the right track. I am a work in progress..
I guess I'm fine. So, happy birthday to myself!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Let's sit and and talk awhile

This is my blog, my little coffee nook. Though it moves and revolves around my life story and does not talk actually about coffee all the time (from time to time, yes), but it will constantly have the feel, the look and the smell of a cozy coffee nook. Latte, cappuccino, mocha, macchiato.. name it. They burst their lingering aroma here, and just so heavenly!

Sipping coffee with friends can be the best way to make conversations. Even gloomy stories turn out to be a little less so... But for the meantime, friends don't know anything about my little coffee nook. One day they will. But for now , I choose to have my alone time here.. with a cup of coffee in hand. I am savoring the moment. Building a better relationship with myself. And maybe find a better version of me.. Eventually, and maybe soon enough, I will try to find new friends along the way. I don't hesitate to have some. After all, people gather around where coffee is. "Let's have coffee", we say... when we mean, "let's talk and catch up on each other's lives".

Thursday, August 21, 2008

A COFFEE LOVE SONG, to begin with

Falling in love at a coffee shop by Landon Pigg

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander downI want to come too
I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I’m shining too
Because oh because
I’ve fallen quite hard over you
If I didn’t know you, I’d rather not know
If I couldn’t have you, I’d rather be alone
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while, I never knew
All of the while , all of the while
It was you