Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
You're growing up so fast! Soon enough, you'll be a teener. It's a long, overwhelming phase of changes. Alterations. Confusions. A lot of growing up pains and joys that might leave you bewildered, and sometimes feeling all on your own. Rest assured that we'll be here for you. Being a friend and a parent are equally important this time. And we pray that God may give us wisdom to know when to be a friend or when to be a parent to you. Or at times, both.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What is my personal legend?
The book (The Alchemist) mentions about OMENS.. "Because we have to respond to omens", said the boy to the crystal merchant... I believe that something greater than me out there gives signs. And the universe will conspire to show me my personal legend. But first I have to follow and respond to omens. And I will know which one is mine.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday, September 20, 2010
To my Little COFFEE NOOK,
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I always love rain as far as I can remember. Storms included (sometimes). Well, I had my childhood in a place where storms are part of life. Bicol is at the side of the Pacific Ocean you see, so storms are our constant uninvited guests. Should I blame it on them that I so love the rain? I practically grew up with them!
There was one Undas I went for a vacation back home, tagging along with me my then boyfriend, now my hubby. While we were enjoying the festive mood in the cemetery, it started to rain. We were totally clueless about the storm that was coming. Maybe we were having so much fun, we didn't care. Storm came that night and really strong. My boyfriend (then) , looking a little horrified, asked me "Bat ganon ang tunog ng hangin?". The wind was fierce and making a violent whirling sound. "Wala ba nyan sa Maynila?", I asked back. "Wala. Sa pelikula ko lang yan naririnig!". He cracked me up! Just to find out the next day that it was no way a laughing matter. Mabolo Bridge collapsed. There were floods and landslides, and the roads going to Manila were totally not passable. We were stranded for days.
Last saturday, it was another Undas (bisperas) and another storm in the metro. The wind was making a whirling sound. Hubby blurted out "Lakas ng tunog ng hangin. Sa pelikula ko lang naririnig yan". "Hay naku, narinig ko na rin yan", I said. Now after several years, we can laugh it out. Suddenly it's a good memory.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
One more legit reason?...
How legit is that?... This is taking most of my time in the world wide web. I've been so hooked with my farm! Virtual it may be, but I've taken care of this parcel like for real. But then I guess "farming" makes me a lousy blogger. It wanders me off from weaving and knitting sentences. phrases. paragraphs.
Only lately that I have felt the burning passion to write again. Burning and flaming, I refuse to ignore. In my heart I really love to write. So I hope this burning stays awhile.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Last month, I celebrated my birthday. Although I kept silent when it came, it's the most significant of all my birthdays. My brother sent me a text message on my birthday. He wrote: "May this day remind you how much God loves you for allowing you to celebrate another birthday"... Indeed. I've never been this grateful. When I met an accident, I was given a second lease on life. And celebrating another birthday, I consider a milestone.
I re-read the post that I wrote for my b-day last year. Nothing much has changed since then. Still struggling with vanity. Still keeping a tight grip of the remaining youth that is left of me. But there's one noteworthy thing that has happened. I now welcome the gift of old age. When the signs of aging start to manifest in me physically, I wouldn't mind anymore. Because then, that means I'm still alive. Having faced before death has made me value the winter of time.
So, wrinkles and gray hair, bring them on! But still, I hope, not too soon (grin!). But when they come a little sooner, again I say, I really don't mind anymore. Because by then I'll make sure I have the inside beauty flourished over time. And that's what only matters.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I am a mirror of my daddy. We may have lost him quite early in life but he has left his values and principles imbued in my being.
He was very passionate about christmas. He would play christmas songs as early as September 1. Set our christmas tree in October. He loved christmas season so much!... I play christmas songs as early as July. Decorate our house of christmas ornaments in October. We both LOVE and feel giddy about anything christmasy!
He would read out VERY loud to practice his diction in english. So engrossed and sometimes appearing a little silly... I did the same, but I hope not as silly as he was! Now, I owe him my proper diction in english.
He loved reading books. He loved movies. um, almost addicted to movies... I love reading. Not only books but also magazines, websites, etc. I love movies. But no, not as addicted as he was.
He loved pets! Cats, dogs, birds, pigs (yes, pigs!). Name it. He would speak to them like human beings. We had this piglet named Wiggy. Daddy would stroll Wiggy around our subdivision complete with leash and a bow tie around her neck. Really, an embarassment to our family, hehehe. Poor Wiggy. Daddy must have confused her, "Am I a dog? Oink."... I was a pet lover. Though we don't have dogs at home right now, but I already have a handful of lovely pets. My hubby and my two kids.
He was very prayerful. When he was still alive, we would pray the rosary at night. We would attend mass every sunday. He had a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that he put under his pillow. Clasp it in his hands and pray before and after he sleeps... I am prayerful like him.
He valued education. He was my first teacher... One day, mommy announced that we had to transfer to a less expensive school (with a less quality of education) due to financial struggles after daddy's major stroke. We were all crying. Daddy was quiet but stood his ground. He decided that we continue studying at the best school in the city whatever the cost... I value education. Could it be a proof that I have attained my master's degree? Sometimes I contemplate on pursuing a phd.
He was prideful. His pride can really get foolish sometimes. Like, he refused to use connections when he can (to go up the ladder of his career). Sobra sa pride o kulang sa diskarte? Depends on how you look at it. (Mommy was the opposite. She used connection , my dad's relative, to get a high paying and prestigious job in court which made us surpass poverty)... I am corrupted with pride. And it can really get foolish sometimes.
He was a music lover. He had a very high standard in music. Very classy. Our house was filled of his lovely music especially during weekends. The only baduy song that I heard him playing in our stereo was the song "Gulong ng Palad" by Nora Aunor. I saw him crying. He didn't know I was peeping. That was after he had a major stroke and the doctors advised him to have an early retirement. I cried with him too, just silently inside our bedroom... I am a music lover. We (my siblings) used to hate his music. But now that we're all grown up, we began to love the same music that dad used to play. How we wish daddy stayed a little longer to see us fully grown and loving most of the things he loved.
He was a great guitarist. He can play guitar like a professional! He was part of a band playing in clubs during their spare time. Spare time would be weekends.. During fiesta, his old time friends and relatives would gather around in our house. Two guys would play violin. Another would play maracas. Another, a bajo. And daddy would be one of the guitarists. An orchestra in our own backyard! We were the happiest (and maybe the most envied) house in the neighborhood. When daddy died, his friends would still come during fiesta. They would play their instruments for old time's sake. But they would just end up crying and missing my dad... In this part, I failed to emulate my dad. But if I still could, I'd love to learn to play one musical instrument.. Daddy was dissappointed in us, his kids. No one of us got interested to play guitar while the kids of other parents would willingly ask him for a guitar lesson. And willingly, he would with no charge. When daddy died, I tried to learn playing guitar on my own. But to no avail.
Wherever you are daddy, happy father's day! You've done a good job raising us. And.. have I told I love you?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I have been through crossroads the latter part of last year (and how scary can it get). Recently, I had an accident that made me hit pit bottom. And during these trying times in my life, somehow some of my relationships have been tried and tested too.
When I cried SOS, who came running for rescue? Or even when I was silent, who came anyway and despite the distance or busy schedules (because genuine relationships know when you need someone and they would readily extend themselves to be that someone for you)?
One thing I learned about tragedy. It looms clearly to you which of your relationships are unfeigned and which are little less so. Yes, few of them might have disappointed me, but I try not to take it against them because sometime in my life I have disappointed people too... Only this time, I learned to really EXPECT LESS.
SOME UNFEIGNED RELATIONSHIPS ....
with mommy ---
Moms will be moms no matter what. The most reliable of all. She will come for me, invited or not. Others may desert me, but she will stick it out with me.
with hubby ---
A person who is not my blood but has loved me with all his heart. True to his vow, he's there for me for better or worse. In twelve years of marriage, he did not give me reason to doubt his love. But this is the time that he manifested it so utterly. He sacrificed for me and stood by me. He makes me feel so blessed. I love him so so much and even more.
with God ---
Many times I don't understand His ways that I even sent Him "hate letters" a couple of times before. Maybe He will not stop instilling great lessons (and sometimes the hard way) into my stubborn mind. Maybe because He simply loves me. Or I don't know. Basta, I'll just continue on with my pilgrimage. And when in doubt, let me just remember that God's foolishness is much greater than man's wisdom.
before the operation
after the operation
Monday, June 8, 2009
It seemed silent. No one screaming. Just groaning and moaning from the passengers hurting. And from my voice saying "Jesus save us" over and over again.
(TO BE CONTINUED)...
sorry, can't continue now. can't bear the bad memories.. the fears and pain (or is it sadness?) that i was not even aware it's there, still... until i wrote it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
As recipient of this award,
1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
So, here are my ten weird, random, little known facts or habits about myself.
1. In relationships, it's inevitable that people fail me or I fail them, and wish we could shut each other out. But either way, I don't burn bridges. In most cases, I just don't cross the bridge. (this can be another topic for another blog time)
I have this fear in mice/rats. They get me extremely hysterical, they could kill me! In fact they almost did when I was still in my mother's womb. A rat startled mommy that caused her to bleed quite profusely. The doctor gave my precious life an ultimatum. If wednesday comes that the bleeding still doesn't stop, she has to scrape me out. Tuesday, the bleeding stopped... So yeah, my life is meant to be.
4. Speaking of lawyer.. If there's any regret or "if only" in my life, maybe that is, not following my dream to become a lawyer.
5. My first love will always be dancing. And I can say that "first love never dies".
6. I love Rainy days. If you happen to have watched the movie "One Fine Day", the weather in that movie can best describe my perfect day. Windy and drizzling all day.
7. I love Fall.
8. The saying that "silent water runs deep" isn't true in my case.
9. I fear to be old, wrinkled, and ugly. I am trying to learn to come in terms with this reality.
10. Motherhood did not come so easy for me. After I gave birth to my first born, I suffered from depression for a long time. Was it the hormones? Or did I find it hard to say goodbye to my youth and freedom? (another topic for another blog time).
For the eleventh...
Friday, March 13, 2009
It's easy to hate her because she is hateful. But I try to go beyond what I can see. Her inferiority complex hiding behind the arrogance. Her trying to use people to fill up her low self esteem. Beyond what I can see is a pitiful sight of inner struggle and brokenness. Sometimes I try compassion instead of hatred. Well, easier said than done. But I don't stop trying.
To love the loveable is effortless. To love the unloveable is virtue..
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Many times I try to play my music the best way I can. But I have not perfected it that every time I encounter people playing their music out of tune, I start to play out of tune myself. And so the unsynchronized orchestra starts over again.
Monday, February 2, 2009
I remained writing free flowingly. Ironically, sometimes, I am able to write poems with no intentions. Just recently, I shared one of my writings to a friend. Then I was so surprised when she uttered "Very nice poem. Beautiful!". What poem? I don't know how to make one! But she insisted it was a poem.
Here's another one that I wrote years back. It was not meant to be a poem but seems that it turned out to be one as well. Funny that I can actually make it when I'm not trying.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
It's hubby's favorite as well. I'm not sure if this recipe has originated in Naga, but I don't know of any place that sells toasted siopao. Well, good news for toasted siopao lovers in Manila , I heard that Naga Garden Resto has a branch in Market! Market!. They made toasted siopao within our reach now.
Gabi leaves stuffed with dinikdik na hipon, young coconut, ground pork and cooked in coconut milk. Yummy!
GINATAANG LAMBO (Labong) with clams (shelled)
Siblings favorite! My sisters and brother.. we all crave for this!
Malagkit na rice with coconut milk
Some prefer it as is. I prefer it with sugar. Coffee or hot chocolate goes perfectly with it!
CHEESE BURGER @ BIGGS
I used to love their cheeseburgers with the cheese stuffed inside the patties, and you can feel the cheese melting in your mouth. Heaven! That's how they used to do it. And the memories that goes with eating them are priceless. Biggs was our barkada's favorite tambayan and we don't fail to order their cheeseburgers. During my college days, sometimes I go to Biggs before school. Munching cheeseburger while studying. My alone time. It was a very relaxing thing for me.
'Til another food trip at home!
Monday, January 19, 2009
And finally, I had my homecoming during the holiday. Initially, it was a real home sweet home for me. Until the weather had to screw it up!! Yeah, it was cold and cozy, but it rained all the time and I had to put off some plans, like, take some photos of our city in different "angles", visit my alma mater in college (Ateneo de Naga) because I treasure a lot of wonderful memories there, visit my dad's graveyard, etc..
So, here goes some pics to help me make my story-telling a lot easier.
The place is very cozy. Looks like a country home ( I wish to achieve this kind of interior design in my own house). It's used to be a house, now turned into a resto. And the food was superb, let me not forget to say that!
I miss the rest of our barkada. Wish we can all go home together and have a grand vacation.
The white specks on the photo aren't snow flakes! They're just some tiny droplets from the drizzle.
And finally, back in the arms of my babes (hubby) after the vacation.