I started out writing together with my (two) friends. But the word "together" makes it inaccurate. They write and they share their writings to me, while I write but keep my writings just for myself. I was not sharing, so I was not "together" with them. The thing is, they write in poetry.. I DON'T. And that made me feel insecure. Somehow I felt that my own writings were second best. If words don't rhyme, then they ain't good enough! So I clammed up. I continued writing just for myself. Attempted to write poems but failed many times. Actually, I was able to write a few. But it didn't pass even my very own amateur yardstick. It's either I'm not really good at it or I'm just not into it. It's not a liberating experience for me when my thoughts are confined in rhymes and meters. So I gave up poetry. I just contented myself in reading my friends' writings. Reading their poems was my favorite pastime then. I miss those days... Good memories.
I remained writing free flowingly. Ironically, sometimes, I am able to write poems with no intentions. Just recently, I shared one of my writings to a friend. Then I was so surprised when she uttered "Very nice poem. Beautiful!". What poem? I don't know how to make one! But she insisted it was a poem.
Here's another one that I wrote years back. It was not meant to be a poem but seems that it turned out to be one as well. Funny that I can actually make it when I'm not trying.
IT'S A FAMILIAR SONG THAT I SANG FROM A BROKEN PAST. THEN I STOPPED WHEN SINGING IT HAS BEEN KILLING ME DOWN. I HAVE QUASHED IT SOMEWHERE I WOULD HEAR IT NO MORE. SUBDUED DEEP DOWN THAT NOT A SINGLE MELODY WAS ALLOWED TO STRUM IN MY HEART. I LIVED FAR FROM IT. SERENELY. UNHARMED. AND WENT ON WITH MY DAYS SINGING A DIFFERENT SONG. THEN ONE DAY I HEARD IT ALL BREAKING LOOSE. THE SONG, SO BEAUTIFUL, SO REAL, AND SO PAINFUL. THE OLD FAMILIAR SONG, AGAIN, SINGING THROUGH MY VEINS. REACHING MY HEART WITH ITS POISON CHARM. WEAKENED AND STRANGLED ME WITH ITS SUAVE, KILLING TONE. ENCHAINED AND IMPRISONED ME IN A PLACE FROM MY PAST....
I AM NOT SINGING YOU NOW AND NEVER AGAIN. I AM SINGING ANOTHER TUNE, SO PLEASE LET ME BE..