Wednesday, September 24, 2008

YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR OWN

The story of this girl from my last post (re: the accidental lawyer. I choose not to disclose her identity) has struck me real hard. I guess because I am a parent, myself. It made me look in. How am I doing as a parent? How am I "imposing" it (my parenting) to my kids?

Before I became a mother, I had this ideal child in mind. I have envisioned the way I'm going to raise her (her.. yes, I have envisioned a daughter). Set up the rules and regulations that she's going to conform to. She's a human being given under my custody. I have to mold her right! What she will become will be a reflection of how good or bad parent I am. So, I was a little hard on my first born, my daughter. She was a victim of my standard of "perfection". That's why, I guess at one point, I might have not handled this little, fragile creature so very well. I'm afraid I might have caused some little bruises with her self-esteem everytime I push her to always do good especially with her studies (she's a consistent honor student). I plead guilty. So with my second born, I was more lenient.

Parents tend to mold their children according to their image and likeness. I hope we get to be reminded.. we are not gods.


On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable




(my precious kids, Denise and Nick)

5 comments:

Tani said...

just sharing this with you..

http://faithofacenturion.blogspot.com/2008/09/better-thank-blood.html#links

LOREN said...

Tani--
My God, Tani, thanks for sharing this blog site! He's a priest blogger! A jesuit priest, right? I am a product of jesuit education, myself, so that makes me doubly excited to read his blog. I'll go back to his blog (tomorrow) and read them all! hehe

Heart of Rachel said...

Thanks for sharing these wonderful photos of your children.

You're right, sometimes as parents we do not realize how much we are pushing our children. We only want what's best for them but perhaps, it will also be a good idea to loosen the strings from time to time.

LOREN said...

Rach--
If only there's an instrument that could help parents determine the exact measurement in rearing our kids. Hindi sobra, hindi kulang na pag aruga, then we could never go wrong.. Wishful thinking lang, heheh!

piebuko said...

thanks for this one. It's a good reminder especially now that I'm a mom.
I've always believed in this, but once you become a mother, you tend to forget.
You just one to protect and protect.